Relationships are very challenging. No one ever said that being in an intimate realtionship is easy. But there are ways to help make relationships smoother.
Taking a breath can always help. Now, that sounds silly, but it’s true!
Taking a breath helps to slow things down. If you are upset, irritated with you partner (or ex-partner) taking a minute to calm down helps you think about what you might want to say rather than reacting immediately. If you take a few breaths, you might even think about what you really want to say and how to say it and what mpact your words will have on the recipient.
Taking a breath helps to calm down your nervous system. When you are upset you are fired up and can’t think straight. If you speak when you’re upset, chances are you may say things that you don’t really mean., and may be sorry afterwards. Words stick and can hurt. People tend to exaggerate or see things in black and white while activated. Life is mostly in shades of gray…. Your system needs some time to relax and restore.
Taking a breath helps you feel calm and utimately better. No one likes to feel upset. Though some people can tolerate uneasy feelings better than others, it is always unpleasant. Taking a few minutes and breathing can help you calm down. It can help in dealing with unpleasant situations.
Taking a breath helps you feel more in control. When you are more calm, you are more in control of your emotions and can deal with difficult interactions in a more thoughtful manner. You will have more of an ability to respond to situations rather than react immediately.
Sometimes this might mean taking more than a few breaths. It might mean taking a time out, as we so often suggest for kids who are upset and out of control. It might mean that we need to take 10 minutes or maybe an hour break from the discussion (or argument) we are having, and then revisit the situation, hopefully, with a renewed sense of understanding. Time outs are very helpful in dealing with stressful situations in relationships.
Breathing is a way to help focus the mind and is a common technique used in meditation. Meditation is a way to train the mind to become more calm and work on stress reduction. Research has shown that people have the ability to train their minds and work on emotional regulation. The brain has the ability to change. Breath is just the beginning.