Should Parents Stay Together for the Kids?
I am frequently asked by parents who are having difficulty in their relationships if they should stay together for the kids. What's the right thing to do? What's the best time to split up? Well, as you can imagine, there's no easy answer to these questions. Should parents stay together for the sake of the kids? Well, no, but they should certainly try to work on the relationship because they have kids. Divorces, even amiable ones, are hard on everyone, and separating from a marriage should be a decision that is well thought out and planned. It is not an [...]
Parent coordination is the process where divorced or separated parents meet with a mediator to resolve issues they have with co-parenting their children. Mom thinks that her child should be on a soccer team, take music lessons and also a drama class each week. Dad thinks his child should take judo, learn tennis and work with a tutor each week. Who is "right?" They fight over their own ideas and cannot resolve the issue. They need to meet with a parent coordinator. A parent coordinator is generally a family therapist who has training in couple and family dynamics with additional [...]
Why Choose Mediation?
When a couple is contemplating divorce there are many options. There is mediation, collaborative divorce and as a last resort, litigation. Ending a marriage is an important decision to make and doing it the "right" way has implications for the rest of your life, particularly if you have children. Mediation is an excellent way to resolve conflicts in the dissolution of a marriage. Mediation is a voluntary process where both parties make decisions together based on their own and each other's understanding of their issues, taking into account the realities of their situation. The mediator functions as a neutral facilitator [...]
Why Avoid Divorce Court?
In thinking about how to get a divorce, it is helpful to understand the issues about divorce court. Frequently when couples are deciding to get a divorce, they threaten going to court. It is a common threat that often comes out of anger. "If you can't agree to give me (XYZ) I'm going to take this to court!" And sometimes, the situation gets out of hand and couples do end up in court. If they do, generally it is not a good thing. In divorce court, nobody wins. It is a myth to think that a judge will decide the [...]
The Importance of an Amiable Divorce
What really are the benefits of an amiable divorce? In the best of circumstances, divorce is difficult. Actualy, it is right near the top of the stress scale, so talking about divorce being "amiable" is a bit strange. There's no question that divorce is really hard, but it can be accomplished with respect and compassion. When a couple gets divorced, there is generally considerable hurt and anger, so how can this be amiable? It can be if the couple decides to make it so! That depends on the attitude of the parties and the willingness to compromise and cooperate, especially [...]
The Importance of Divorce Coaching
Many people benefit from working with a divorce coach during the difficult process of separating and divorcing. In terms of stress levels, divorce rates as one of the hardest times in people's lives. A divorce coach can help make the process a bit easier. A divorce coach can be helpful in many ways. She can be a tremendous support during a time when the world seems to be falling apart, as the relationship has fallen apart. Working as a neutral, in a team with attorneys, she has the training and ability to monitor the emotional level of meetings and assist [...]
Why Divorce Coaching?
What is the value of divorce coaching? How is it different from therapy and why would I need it? These are important questions for anyone going through a divorce. Divorce coaching is very valuable for people in the process of divorce who would like the extra support. Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events a person may encounter in life and having someone to help them step by step through the process who can also communicate with their attorney can be an invaluable asset. In collaborative practice, a divorce coach is a team member with the [...]