When a couple is in the process of a separation they rarely communicate well. Some basic rules can be helpful.

When a couple is having difficulty in their relationship and separating, their communication is often poor, and frequently gets worse. That’s a real problem, particularly if the couple has children and needs to communicate and work together to co-parent. All the research tells us that children of divorced parents can do very well, but the parents must follow a few basic rules.

First, parents must never argue in front of their children. Overt conflict in front of children makes them anxious and upset.

Next it is most important never to put children in the middle of the parents. That means never telling the children anything negative about the other parent, so the children do not need to take sides. Ironically, if this occurs, it makes the children mad at both parents, as they are mad at the parent who is saying negative things about the other parent who they love, and also absorbing the information given, so they are mad at that parent as well. This leaves a child in the middle and upset.