I am so frequently asked the best way to introduce a new partner to a child after divorce. There is no perfect way, but there are guidelines that can make the introduction easier. Children of divorce have experienced loss. When their parents split up, even if they have joint custody and see both parents on a regular basis, they experience a loss of the intact nuclear family. That does not mean that they can't adjust to living in two households, but it generally takes some time and work on the parent's part to help them feel comfortable. Meeting a new [...]

Choosing a holiday schedule for divorced parents can be a nightmare, but with sensitivity it can be manageable. There is no "right" schedule, the one that is best is what works for your family. Holiday time can be wonderful and it can also be very painful. It is a hard season not to be with your children. And being divorced means that part of the time you are not with your children. Both parents need to share the holidays with their kids. So, what's the best way to figure out a fair and equitable schedule ? Every family is different [...]

What do kids want on holidays? Of course they want gifts, but they also want special experiences, even if they don't know that! While holiday time can be stressful for families, we aim to make it good for the kids. If parents are not together the logistics need to be arranged. Who will have the children for the actual holiday? Will they split the time? Will they see both parents? will they alternate every year? will they have a joint celebration? The answers to these questions depend on how well the parents get along and what they feel they can [...]

The Thanksgiving Holiday is often very stressful for separated couples. Figuring out the best way to schedule time with families on both sides is often a challenge, as well as dealing with feelings of loss. Many families have traditions that have been followed for years. When a couple separates, this often throws a wrench in the plans. Who has the kids? What is fair? What works best for the kids? and for the parents? The answers to these questions are not necessarily the same. Sometimes, it is a difficult decision. Some couples simply decide they will alternate the holiday every [...]

When parents separate and divorce, they end their marital relationship, but they do not end their parenting relationship. The focus changes. The business of parenting becomes the basis of the new partnership. This is not an easy task. When a couple separate there is obviously a myriad of feelings.....hurt, anger, disappointment and often despair. But if there are children involved, it is important for parents to rise to the occasion and put aside their feelings towards one another. They have a joint task and that is to raise happy and healthy children together. Is that possible? I would say a [...]

When couples split up, everyone wants to know what's the "right" parenting schedule. The answer is simple, there isn't one! There is no right schedule. Each couple must decide on what the best schedule is for them and their children. Some couples are more comfortable with a completely equal 50/50 schedule and some prefer one parent having physical custody and the other visiting on alternate weekends. What is most important is that both parents are comfortable and agree to the schedule and that they are committed to spending good time with their children. When figuring out a parenting plan, it [...]

Many parents have anxiety that they have different parenting styles and that will adversely affect their children after divorce. While it is certainly easier if both parents have similar rules in each home when the kids are living in both homes, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily a big problem if the parenting styles are somewhat different. It is more important for kids to have the experience of living with both of their parents. Children are resilient and they learn what they can and cannot do in each home. Just like kids learn what they can and cannot get do [...]

Shared parenting can take many forms and as long as a couple gets along reasonably well, it is optimal for children. What does shared parenting mean? Well, it means that both parents take responsiblity for their kids. The legal term Joint Custody means that each parent is jointly responsible for the health, education and welfare of their children. Neither parent can make a major decision about their children without consultation from the other parent. With joint legal custody, the kids can live primarily with one parent, or they can live with both, depending on the parenting plan. Joint physical custody [...]

Post- divorce parenting is difficult, but can be done successfully with some structure, cooperation and determination. There are a few important keys to success. The first, is to have a clear agreement that spells out the details so there is no ambiguity. The schedule of the parenting plan needs to be very clear. When will each parent be responsible for the child? When is the scheduled pick up or drop off? Once that's established, it needs to be respected. If a drop off is scheduled for 5pm on Sunday, the child should not be dropped off at 5:30! If a [...]