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As parents, as spouses or as friends, we all make mistakes sometime. But how do we deal with the mistakes we make? As parents, as spouses or as friends we all make mistakes sometimes. But how do we handle that? Do we apologize? Is is hard to say "I'm sorry". What will that mean to a relationship? Apologizing is not easy for many people. It means we're admitting that we were wrong, that we screwed up. What does that mean? Does it mean that we are a bad person? Sometimes it feels that way, which makes apologizing very difficult. Does [...]

Effective Communication

Effective communication is imperative for any and all relationships whether couples are together and want to strengthen their bonds or if they are apart and want to deal with thier children in postivie ways. Why is it so hard to have effective communication? So many people come into my office and tell me that they don't communicate well. Couples report poor communication as one of the biggest challenges. Divorcing couples are often paniced as they couldn't communicate well when they were married, so how will they deal with one another as they are divorcing. There is certainly a point there, [...]

Making Commitments

Making commitments in relationships and striving to fulfill them create a solid foundation for longevity. Many couples make commitments, but many don't follow through with them. I was recently at a wedding and was struck by the commitments the couple made to one another. I was told they worked long and hard writing their vows to say exactly what they wanted and needed to say to one another. I can imagine that this process, in itself, was intense and bonding. And they clearly were proud of what they created as they recited them to one another at the marriage ceremony. [...]


It's a difficult question with a difficult answer. People are attracted to one another for lots of reasons, some of which are unconscious. Falling in love is a crazy process. Axioms like "love is blind" speak to the emotionality not rationality of it all. When a couple first falls in love, they really fall… they fall into each others' arms, they fall out of their daily routines, they fall off balance. Often they focus on one another to the detriment of responsibilities and their emotions rule their rational selves. At the beginning of a relationship, people don't necessarily see emerging [...]

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