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All articles in the category of

Relationships

All articles in the category of

Relationships

Life Post-Covid

Now that life is returning to normal, what are the next steps for a happy, healthy and productive summer and fall. While we are all relieved that the Covid crisis is now more in control, it is still not over. Some people are not vaccinated and children are still not eligible for the shots. But the fact that so many of us have had both shots, there is a tremendous sense of relief. People are gathering together and visiting and spending time indoors. And although we still need to be careful and aware as Covid has not gone away, we [...]

Silver Linings in the Pandemic

The last few months have been very hard for most of us. Some people have gotten quite sick. Others have been able to avoid sickness but are riddled with anxiety. There are, however, some silver linings. Now that we're learning to navigate the pandemic, many people are beginning to see the silver linings. We've been staying home more and deprived of our regular activities but finding a way to balance our lives. Here are some of the silver linings that people have shared with me: - I get to see my children so much more - I know where my [...]

Gratitude During the Covid-19 Crisis

While there are definite hardships during this time of Covid-19, many people are appreciating their time together and having some unexpected positive experiences. As we are all sheltering at home, which is difficult, there are silver linings. While some people report that they feel stuck at home, others are settling in and beginning to speak about the positives. Many folks have gratitude for just being healthy and for having the ability to work from home and feel safe. There is the security to be home and having the family together. There are many positives about having the family together. Many [...]

Surviving the Coronavirus

Staying home everyday, knowing you can’t go out unless it’s a short walk or a essential trip to the grocery or drug store, presents many challenges that families normally do not have. Individuals in families are used to going to work and school, spending time with friends and engaging in activities that are meaningful. We are not used to all being together all of the time. In addition, there is the real fear of getting sick. This situation creates an enormous amount of anxiety for all of us. In order to be helpful, I have put together a list of [...]

It’s a New Year – Time to be Happy

In the beginning of a new year, everyone has thoughts of what they want and how to achieve it. Everyone wants to be happy. But how easy is that ? I have been following the New York Times columist John Leland in his series of interviewing "old people" during the past three years. He has intensely followed six people 85 and older. I've read all the articles over the years and they have had an impact on me. On December 31st, he wrote an article about the four remaining old folks and his conclusion was if you want to be [...]

Why Save the Relationship

Relationships can be very difficult. Why is it worth it to try and save it? and when is it necessary to call it quits? Relationships of any duration can often be hard. Why? Initially, most couples get together and it's easy and fun. Talking about everything seems like a breeze and getting along well and feeling connected is basic. Then what happens? After a period of time, people are not on their best behavior as they were in the beginning. When something happens at work or with friends or family that is difficult, irritability and stress become apparent. How that [...]

Being Happy

Happiness is a hot topic these days. Everyone wants to be happy, but do we do what it takes to be happy? What does it take to be happy? Neuroscientists tell us that well being is a skill and it can be learned. But like learning anything, it requires practice. First, we need to make the choice that we want to be happy. And then we need to do what it takes to get there..... There is a basic concept of neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity means that the brain changes. It changes in response to experience and training. Mostly, the brain changes [...]

Being Right

Most of us generally want to be right. It feels good to be right. But that doesn't always get us what we want. It is so typical to have a couple in my office argue that one of them is "right", clearly inferring that the other is wrong. Couples so often fight about who is right. They can discuss all the details of a situation using a right and wrong framework. But, an argument is rarely solved by deciding one person is right. That's because it is generally not about right and wrong but about more complex feelings and being [...]

It’s the New Year!

At the New Year, it is common for us all to think about the past, present and future and make "resolutions", things we hope that we can do differently in the new year. A yoga teacher I had in class this past week had an interesting comment about resolutions. She said she doesn't like to make resolutions because if we resolve to do something that we don't exactly do (which is quite common as we all know), we feel badly and feel like we failed. Instead, she suggested we all make "intentions". I loved that. Because if we have intentions [...]

Take a Breath

Relationships are very challenging. No one ever said that being in an intimate realtionship is easy. But there are ways to help make relationships smoother. Taking a breath can always help. Now, that sounds silly, but it's true! Taking a breath helps to slow things down. If you are upset, irritated with you partner (or ex-partner) taking a minute to calm down helps you think about what you might want to say rather than reacting immediately. If you take a few breaths, you might even think about what you really want to say and how to say it and what [...]

Compromises

Making compromises are not always easy, but often necessary in long term relationships. Sometimes they are fair and someimes they are not. But how does that work? Is one person always expected to be the one who compromises ? Or does a couple take turns? Or how does it get decided who and when a compromise is made? There's a simple answer - there are no rules. Though this is not a satisfying answer it can be comforting as each situation can be decided on a case by case basis. It is not a matter of fair. In a good [...]

What’s Good Enough?

The concept of "good enough" is an interesting one. As a positive person I have always been a believer that life isn't perfect, and that's ok. But what is "good enough?" To be good enough, the situation has to be good. It needs to be better that ok most of the time. Acknowledging that recognizes the reality that some of the time the situation will inevitably not be so good. Is that ok? My thinking is that it is ok, because life isn't perfect and realtionships certainly aren't perfect. Relationships always have their ups and downs. It is a matter [...]

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